A child learning to walk falls down many times and she learns to get up again. Her parent tells her “Yes, you can do it.” She eventually begins to walk and with wonder in her eyes she agrees “She did it!” Such is the power of positive affirmation.
The first time I was supposed to write a blog, I told myself “I can’t do it.” Another voice said, “Don’t be silly! You can do it. Give it your best shot.” And I did.
There was also a time when I was supposed to do some exercises called ‘planks’ and I thought, “Forget about it. This is not for you. Let’s do something easier.” Then another thought was “Hmm…let’s try this and see. I won’t know if I don’t try.” What do you know? I did 20 planks that day!
There’s this constant push and pull – things you say to yourself in an internal dialogue that are positive or negative. We call them “self-talk”. Everyone does this so naturally all the time but we may not have even considered it before now.
Well, the positive self-talk motivates us and the negative self-talk can make us feel that “I’m not good enough” or “I shouldn’t aspire to do great things.”
If you believe you have a lot more of negative self-talk than positive self-talk and you think it’s time now to create an important shift that will help you become more positive and enjoy a better quality of life then this article is for you:
How to Be More Positive:
1. Don’t compare yourself with others
It is said that “Life is like one big exam and some people fail because they try to copy others, not realizing that everyone has a different question paper.” There will always be people who do better and others who will not. If you get stuck in negative feelings like regret and a feeling of lack which keep you in the past, how will you move forward? Focus on what you can do in the present, and allow positive ideas to come to you and a good sense of well-being.
2. Choose positive messages
Select your favourite positive quotes or affirmations and put them up on your fridge, your room, at your workstation, in your office, wherever you will be able to read them and absorb their meaning. Some examples of messages can be:
– I am happy and I am in charge of how I feel everyday.
– I am fortunate to have ……
– Everyday in every way I am stronger and healthier and happier
– I bring happiness and cheer to everyone
– Peace is with me always
3. Keep a Gratitude Journal
Everyday, write any 3 things or more of what you are thankful for. These things can be small or big. They can be wonderful experiences or people who have met or good things someone has done for you. As you do this regularly, you are helping your mind focus on becoming more and more positive until it becomes a habit and then you will find positivity in so many more aspects in your life than before. I remember when I started writing on a Gratitude Journal, I felt much more joy and peace because I shifted my focus from issues and negative thinking that weighed me down to looking at the brighter side, where so many things were going right and to be thankful for them.
4. Make a List of your Negative Self Talk
As you experience your day, be alert for any negative self-talk that has gone through your mind. You can quickly jot them down on your mobile phone notes. Spend 5-10 minutes when possible later in the day and write down on a piece of paper the 3-4 negative and toxic statements you have been telling yourself. Then with a pen, strike out the first statement and tell yourself it’s time for healthy thoughts. Replace each statement with a powerful positive statement to help you get inspired. Examples could be:
Negative: I will disappoint her if I give up on this project.
Positive: I’m proud of myself for trying to do it. For now, that is enough.
Negative: I am not beautiful enough to join the competition.
Positive: I have a wonderful opportunity to join a competition and showcase the best of me. This is good and all is well.
Negative: I don’t believe I’m good enough for a promotion.
Positive: I will work hard and do my very best. I am good at what I do and I want to continue to sharpen my skills.
5. Don’t be so hard on yourself
There may have been situations in the past when you made a wrong choice, or performed badly in school or at work, or when you spent less time with your family than you would have liked, and you now regret what you did, and cannot seem to forgive yourself for those actions. Many of us are naturally kinder to others and would have forgiven them but do not give ourselves similar considerations, blaming ourselves for years – manifesting negative self-talk and affecting our health and well-being. Allow yourself to let go all the regrets and welcome peace and kindness for yourself.
